


Not even the Force

by Magichemistry



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 19:16:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13747533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magichemistry/pseuds/Magichemistry
Summary: Request: Could you make fic from tlj where main character is in love with Kylo, but she walks in on kylo and Rey touching hands after she knew that kylo was talking to someone. (Kylo doesn’t know that she is in love with him during all this time). Angst ensues and she’s all depressed and heartbroken but fluffy ending with kylo? I’m sorry this is a lot.





	Not even the Force

“Hey” you enter to Kylo’s quarters carrying a stack of documents and on top of them your holopad. “Who are you talking to?” you heard Kylo’s voice saying something about “I can see you” but he’s alone.

“No one” he answers abruptly. He looks nervous, like a child who has been caught eating sweets before dinner

“No one? You know that talking alone is the first symptom of being insane?” You put your papers and holopad on a small table careful to not let your holopad fall. It’s expensive and Hux will not approve the purchase of another one if you break it.

“Yeah? And which is the second one? Pouring the milk first and then the cereal?” Kylo saw you one day eating your cereal like this and since that day he hasn’t left the subject.

“Ha ha really funny. Anyway, I need you to check these papers and sign them” you start to organize the documents in differents folders. You’re Kylo’s assistant since a short time but the two of you have been friends for a while ago. It was for that reason that he himself chose you for this position, he didn’t feel comfortable working with anyone else, especially since Starkiller. But with you he can even joke about it and not feel too bad.

“Yes, ma'am” he puts himself to work.

* * *

 

“If you have to spend a whole year on a planet alone and you only can take a person, who would you take?” you’re scattered in one chair and Kylo in another, in the middle of you, his desk. You have just finished having lunch, you’re usually in charge of bringing food for the two of you.

“You” Kylo says without hesitate.

“What?” your mind screams at you bursting in joy but you need to calm yourself down. It doesn’t mean anything. However, if he doesn’t like you why would he choose to spend a year alone with you?

“You’re my best friend. At least I wouldn’t get bored. Plus, you’re really stubborn so you would get us food and shelter. It’s just survival”.

“Hell yeah, I’m the best” you try to joke with your heart shattered in one thousand tiny pieces. You’re his friend and nothing more. Not a single time he has talked about a crush or liking someone so it’s a comfort. It’s just you and him. And you wish it could stay like this forever.

* * *

 

“Crap” you remember you left your holopad on Kylo’s room. You need to finish a report before the day ends so you walk back to his place. You enter without knocking or announcing yourself, Kylo is used to your presence he told you he doesn’t mind.

The image you have in front of you will be marked forever in your skull, not even after reconditioning you could forget it. Kylo is sitting with his arm extended, his eyes are full of hope and in front of him there’s another smaller hand. A girl’s hand. The owner of that hand is that Rebel girl you used to make fun of. But in this moment he’s not making fun of her. Something must have scared her because her image disappears quickly.

Your feet are nailed to the floor because you try to move, get away from there, do something but you are immobile. You feel like your heart is beating painfully slower. Of course he has never talked about the person he liked because it was Rey, one can’t go around saying that the girl they like is from the enemy side.

“(Y/N)!” Kylo has just noticed your presence.

“You bastard” your mouth decides to act for you.

“It’s not what you think. I’m not leaving the First Order!” Kylo thinks you look so offended because you think he’s a traitor.

“Why her? Why not me?” you fight against your tears, determined to not appear weak before him. “I know you better, Kylo. I’ve been with you through good and bad, never leaving your side”.

"I don’t understand, (Y/N). Why does it bother so much?” his mind is blank. You’re acting as if you were jealous. Are you?

“You love her” you say trying to process all of this.

“I don’t. But I need her in order to accomplish my goals” he simply explains.

Then you understand. If he talks like that about a girl so powerful (and pretty) then you must be less than nothing. “I’m just your shadow. An accessory for you”.

“You’re my best friend. My only friend” Kylo doesn’t understand where all this comes from.

“I don’t want to be your friend” you say grinding your teeth. You’re tired of only being his friend. It’s not what you want, it’ll never be enough for you.

“What?”

“I like you”.

“I like you too. I thought you already knew it” Kylo’s patience is running out. He doesn’t have to explain himself very often.

“Not like that. I really like you … as more than a friend” you decide you don’t want to carry your feelings hidden anymore.

“You crazy woman. Why you never said anything?” now he’s pissed.

“Because you never show you could return my feelings” his angry mood is getting to you making you angry too.

“I thought you were just being nice because I’m your boss” the tone of your voices is rising.

“I was being nice to you because I love you!” you shout at him, desperate that he doesn’t understand what is happening.

“Whoo this is moving too fast” he sits back and diverts his gaze from you.

“I … you’re right” you give up, if you had hope that Kylo could feel the same, you just lost it. You prefer to leave, get out of there before getting more hurt from all this.

* * *

 

_2 days later_

You promise yourself for your own well being and mental health that you’re done with Kylo. You aren’t the first to fall in love without being reciprocated or the last one, you won’t die from this. You have to accept all the good memories you shared with him are that, just memories. Even maybe the day will come when you can work next to him and not feel anything.

As you’re meditating all of this you’re walking to his quarters to leave a design for his ship on the door. The day you can work next to him has not yet arrived and you don’t feel with the energy to see him. But before you can quickly get away from there, the door opens and Kylo is standing there.

“Come in” he pronounces. “I need to talk with you”.

Oh no, maybe he’s going to fire you for being so unprofessional. And you called him a bastard you remember. But on the other hand it might be the best, put distance between the two.

There’s a box of Lucky Charms in the table where you’re use to put your work, you wonder what’s it doing there instead of the kitchen. Kylo sits on the same table and invites you to sit on the couch.

“Listen (Y/N), I’m not gonna lie to you, when you said you love me you messed me up a bit. I haven’t never taken the time to meet a person in a romantic sense. But also these two days have suck without you.” he says as he grabs the box of cereal on his hands. “I got you some Lucky Charms as a peace offering I know  they’re your favorites, and also I’m so lucky to have you in my life. So I want to ask you for an opportunity to woo you. There’s nothing I would like more than to fall in love with my best friend ”:

“What about her?“ your heart is trying to make you believe in his words but you’re still hurt.

"She’s nothing but a pure asset in order to succeed. (Y/N), we’ll rise victorious.”

“Kylo … are you serious?” you’re sure if you keep hearing his sweet voice you’ll believe everything he says.

“As long as you learn how to eat cereal as a human being” he mocks as he approaches to give you a big hug. One of those hugs that cures everything.

* * *

 

_3 months later_

You’re standing near the TIE Fighter meanwhile he’s making sure everything is ready.

“I’m scared the Force will torn us apart” you confessed. Kylo is about to leave on a one week mission with his knights and you can’t assure he’ll come back safe and sound.

“Hey hey look at me” he takes your face between his hands. “I’ll always protect you, I’ll watch your steps, because our love is eternal. And not even the Force will torn us apart, our souls are united as eternal companions in this life and also in the afterlife” he promises to you and kisses you long enough to make sure you believe him.

“Not even the Force” you whisper once your mouth separates from his.

“Not even the Force, my love” he confirms.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me: tumblr.com/bad--bad--man


End file.
